Semester-end report on investor relations aka finance 101

when i was five I taped some coins to a branch, stuck it in a pot, and proudly refuted my parents' dogma regarding money and trees, IR final shouldn't be a problem, I'm a natural ;)

Basically what I have learned this semester is:

a.) Efficiency market theory might work if our CEOs didn't make market-altering business decisions like menopausal women
b.) If you're going to "interpret" accounting principles to suit your denial do it with some finesse and exhibition of financial prowess, don't pour "boring" in the wound.
c.) The gold standard can only be distilled once...distill the resulting paper that's dubious in value and it apparently becomes pretend paper that's dubious in value. People may play poker for a number of things, but "nothing" is not one of them.
d.)Saddest of all, the "street" has been stripped of analytical skill and now values the skill of speedy "button pressing" first and foremost